Alan’s Journey 

Alan’s Journey

Part 1

I look into a hospital room. I see a very sick man. 
He is so sick that the staff is worried about his very survival. 
He seems completely unaware of how sick he is. 

I look into a hospital room.
I see a very sick man. 
He is so sick that the staff is
worried about his very survival. 
He seems completely unaware of how sick he is. 

It was a great shock to me when I learned that I had cancer. Even though I had been sick a lot for a few years, I did not think it was serious. My wife, Siska, believed something was very wrong, and urged me to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor examined me but she did not find any problems. She sent me to the laboratory for a blood test and that evening they called. I was told I was extremely ill, and that I should ask someone to drive me to the emergency room right away. My blood test showed that I was so sick I might collapse while driving. I had trouble believing this. 

Siska drove me to the emergency room. The very first thing I did was ask them to take another blood test to confirm what they had found. Shortly after, they told me that the result was the same . . .

I was immediately admitted to the hospital. This was a new experience for me. The only other time I was hospitalized was when I was fifteen, and I was there only a couple days for a minor surgery. This time my life was at stake.

My doctor was meticulous about confirming my diagnosis and he did a bone marrow test to be absolutely certain. I was given two choices: either five straight days of chemotherapy, or go home and return once a week for six weeks. Because of my condition and the advanced cancer, the doctor recommended that I stay in the hospital for the five straight days of treatment. I wholeheartedly agreed since I wanted to get better as soon as possible. For me this was definitely the right decision.

The powerful medicine they gave me to help me recover also made me feel worse. Although I was managing to eat three full meals a day, I lost close to twenty-five pounds in a few weeks. I knew that my body was going through a very intense time and eventually I would start feeling better.

Siska came to be with me every day and she became my lifeline. I also played our New Equations Music continuously, which was so soothing that I never once thought about death or dying. I knew it was important to rest and let the medical staff take care of me, and I patiently waited to see what would happen. I had no idea how long I would be hospitalized. When I think back over my experience, it actually feels positive. I found a way to surrender into my new reality.

The medical staff was very careful with me because I was so close to transitioning. Luckily, I was assigned excellent doctors who were able to help me recover. The nurses and support staff were all very nice and friendly. Over the weeks that I was there, the music that Siv Roland, Siska, and I, had composed drew many of the staff into my room so they could listen to the music, as well.

As soon as I felt well enough, I began taking three or four walks a day through the corridors. It always felt good to be moving and I thoroughly enjoyed the people I met. Whenever I was hooked up to an IV, I rolled it along with me.

The longer I was in the hospital, the more I realized that in many ways I was starting a new life.

I knew Siska and I had made new and important discoveries for humanity. I had always been a goal-oriented person and worked hard. My urge to give everyone the magic of New Equations was strong, but then I began forgetting to pay attention to how I was feeling and how my body was doing. I became seriously ill.

After my experience coming so close to death, I had to stop everything I had been doing. I stopped hurrying. I had to take time to more deeply experience myself. I needed to make a change.

A question that I asked myself was: What do I need to do differently to keep this illness from coming back? As my body gained strength, one of the things I started doing was the New Equations Spiritual Postures. This created a calm and balanced state of being for me. I quickly got the feeling that if I could keep this state of being, I would be more likely to recover and stay healthy. 

Since becoming ill two years ago, I have been moving into the next chapter of my life. The closer I can come to living the rest of my life from an even more spiritually guided point of view, the better my life will be. When I began this process, I did not really understand that this was the only way for me to survive.

Alan Sheets

Alan Sheets is the Cofounder of New Equations and New Equations Music.