Before I got sick, I was running two miles in twenty minutes every day. When I started out again, I did not time myself. Later, when I did pay attention to how fast I was running, I felt different about time. I didn’t care how fast I was running. Instead, I paid attention to how I was feeling.
Every day of my new way of life has been an opportunity to move forward into a new way of being. Every day I become more aware of the changes that are going on inside me. If there is a lot of change going on, my run tends to be slower. I consider that to be a very good sign.
I discovered that what is most important is to be as calm and relaxed as possible and let my soul, spirituality, and physicality, do whatever is needed to help me heal.
I no longer have a plan in mind. In the past, I always had a goal. I always knew where I was heading and had many ideas about how to get there, but now I realize that I do not have any idea where I am going. This was so new and different. It still is.
I began to see that each day and each night brought a new set of opportunities. Whenever I woke up in the morning disoriented or confused, I knew that it was a good thing. I had to not try to make my disorientation go away. All I had to do was stay with the confusion. Soon something new would present itself.
My tendency had been to observe people and watch their words rather than interact with them. I am slowly learning how to sustain a magical connection with others. When I pay attention to my breath I can more easily take in and breathe with the ever-changing moment. I can then turn my attention to my soul and follow its guidance. As I immerse myself in the sensory input of the present moment, my mind can take in all that I am experiencing and integrate it with my current state of evolution.
Alan Sheets is the Cofounder of New Equations and New Equations Music.