The Hiding

The Hiding

Running . . . far, far away . . . can’t stop until I know I’ve reached a distance where I can relax in the illusion of being safe.

Running . . . far, far away . . . still running on a path where I know every turn and every single grain of sand.

Running . . . far, far away . . . from the truth that follows me into where I usually can be in peace with the illusion.

Running . . . far, far away . . . can’t even breathe in this heat and on this path where the finish line never comes.

Being followed by my own shadow, trying to outrun something that’s stuck to me. Trying to find a solution, a smart way to ignore the huge ball of shadow inside the backpack I’m wearing.

The light feels so bright. Feels too bright. Like a spotlight pointing at me as I am approaching the stage. I try to find a way out of the spotlight. Try to hide behind props on stage. And at the same time, everyone is sitting in the audience, waiting for my words to come forward. Waiting to hear my voice, waiting to see the light, feel the love, be a part of the movement created by my words.

Fabian in the Soultype 5 Spiritual Posture

I can feel drawn forward. Still I try to fight it. I try to wait it out. I’ll try to wait until I feel ready.

Isn’t it a beautiful picture I’m painting here? A painting of me looking at the light, looking at who I am, starting to recognize myself, and still trying to outrun the truth and hide in the old basement of shadows.

With that said:

I shot the arrow into the universe. But I didn’t bother to go looking for it. I stayed behind, feeling proud because I managed to shoot the arrow.

It’s now . . . everything comes down to this point. Now is the time to choose. It’s either yes or no. It’s either old or new. So, the time has come to start walking, start moving, and go find the arrow so I can shoot it once again!

Fabian smiling and holding tea

Fabian Rohde

Fabian Rohde, Soultype 5, is a student in the NEATO Level 3 – New Equations Certified Teacher program. You can find Fabian in Oslo, Norway, golfing and playing his guitar.